The day after Game Night

Life doesn't change that quickly. For me to repeat over and over again that I'm grateful for my friends and my dog seems pretty boring... even if it's true. I still don't have any idea what I'm going to do with myself in 2 months... I don't even know where I'll be living come May! I have all this uncertainty that's been getting me down, but with the help of my friends, life doesn't seem so bad after all.

Detroit's been extra fun lately. Or extra comfortable? I look forward to staying here over the weekends when I used to look forward to getting away.

Fun events of recent past:

• GAME NIGHT! The first few hours of the night were spent on a 12 person Apples to Apples game. Then it moved into Twister with two mats and eight people. And then finished off with some dancing and Wii.
• Joanna came in to town for one of her clients and I got to meet up with her for a bit.
• Twilight played at the Brew & View a couple weeks ago and the place was more packed than I've ever experienced. We ended up sitting at a table with two couples who proceeded to make out for the entire movie. Who would want to make out when Edward Cullen is on the screen?
• After that movie we walked down to the WAB and met up with some friends for after drinks.
• I went to the west-side of Michigan for a weekend for a photoshoot, a tiny bit of recording, a 60th birthday party, and a wedding in Holland. I spent, what felt like a long time, walking around Kalamazoo and Holland in a blizzard.
• I've been doing an excessive amount of reading... or should I say obsessive?

I've started deleting friends off Facebook. Maybe friends is the wrong word. I've starting deleting people off my friends list on facebook who I, A) had to look at their page to even remember who they were, or B) haven't talked to in years and don't ever expect to see again. I only ended up deleting around 50 people, but for some reason it made my facebook page seem more personal for me.

Back Forty

I got really upset on Thursday night, even if was only for about 20 minutes. It was weird. I went to my first Red Wings game and two of my favorite people were in town that night, so I was ecstatic for most of the night. We had a great time at the game and proceeded to have an even better time at the bar downtown afterward. However, besides the people who went to the game with me, every single person who told me they wanted to meet me downtown later bailed. Which, I guess, is normal; I'm always setting up outings and at least half of the people who say they want to come end up not being able to.

But this was different, because I really wanted my home friends to meet my Detroit friends. I'm sure my friends in Detroit know how important my home friends are to me, well at least they should! So anyway, I got upset and proceeded to guilt trip them. Lame, I know. I felt bad for this the next day and I talked to most of my friends and apologized.

Today, however, I had made promises to two groups of people that I would hang out with them. Even though I felt like poo from the night before and I could have probably fallen asleep at nine, I realized that me not showing up to their events would be hypocritical. I'm glad I realized that because I ended up making it to both events and having a great time! I'm very happy I went out.

Credibility is huge for me. And if anything, I should hold myself up to that standard before I expect anyone else to.


Tonight I'm grateful for:

• My handful of really great Detroit friends. You know who you are.
• My friends from Paw Paw who have made an attempt to come visit me in Detroit. I understand that it's hard to come from so far away, but I really appreciate the effort!
• Music.
• Honesty.

frustrating

I can only assume that people who demand absolute perfection in others can only be more let down by their own imperfections. At least I hope because no one should always feel like they have to live up to other people's unattainable standards of perfection.


I find it ironic that I'm about to finish my Master's degree. I have a list of goals for my life that run through my head daily; what I want to do and who I want to become, 95% of which have nothing to do with my career goals. Part of me is saying that this Master's degree means that I need to buckle down and focus on finding the perfect job, while the other part of me is saying that the perfect job for me right now has nothing to do with being serious and grown-up.


Right now I'm grateful that:

• I have great friends and family that will put up with/support me during this difficult time.
• I know myself well enough to know that I won't enjoy certain jobs/locations even if they pay me more than others.
• Someone will hire me this summer to do SOMETHING, even if it has nothing to do with my degree.
• I know a lot of smart and hard-working people who are having troubles finding jobs after college as well.

Yo Yo YO

Tonight, I'm grateful for:

• Travel time from here to there. Most of my grateful thinking is done during boring travel time from fun time to sleep time.
• People who say what is really on their mind. I am well aware that sometimes people think things that they would NEVER say out loud. However, there are some people I am completely comfortable with sharing this horrible information. I am grateful when people are willing to share that information with me.
  
• CDS. Which, unlike I-Pod, won't remind you how many times you listened to Tegan and Sara over and over and over and over and over again.
  
• Tonka. Who is always glad to see me. No matter what.
• Caller ID. Which will tell you not to pick up the phone from the crazy guy at the bar who wants to take you out to dinner but you're too chicken to say, "Yeah, no."

Sometimes I'm guarded. Most of the time I think I'm a fairly open person, but sometimes I do things just because I do. I'm most thankful for the people who understand that I do these things, because that's just who I am, and that's just what I do. I was surprised by someone tonight who understood my actions, without me telling them. And they said, "hey Merry, I know what you're doing, and you can stop acting that way, because I understand."

That was a great feeling.