Time Thief

I'm in the process of developing trainings for one of CARE's clients on the power of self-management. In the book I'm working from I found this neat section on attitude, so I thought I would share it with you. Yes, the training is written towards work settings, but I think we can all agree that it applies to life as well.

It's long. Sorry.


Our attitude is a very important choice as it relates to career success and satisfaction. The truth is that anyone, no matter how good the working conditions, can find a reason to have a negative attitude. And anyone, no matter how bad the circumstances, can find a way to maintain a positive attitude. Our attitude is of our own making and largely depends on these influences:

What we focus on: Our attitude will likely suffer if we concentrate on everything that is frustrating or unfair and if we take for granted the positive aspects of the working conditions. When we dwell on the negative, we feed it with energy. What we pay attention to only grows stronger.

The key to happiness is gratitude. All happy people are grateful. Ungrateful people cannot be happy. And nothing undermines gratitude more than unwarranted or unmet expectations. The Buddhist teachings are relevant here. If we expect that something desirable will or should definitely happen, then we feel entitled to this thing. This leads to dissatisfaction, because it undermines the most important source of happiness, which is gratitude.

It is assumed that being unhappy lead us to complain. Actually the opposite is true: Complaining helps us become unhappy. Therefore, to improve our overall satisfaction, we should take an inventory of both our personal and work life and express gratitude for all that is good in it. Focus on the positive and our attitude will improve.

What we think when things go bad: Many of the dissatisfiers at work are irritating, but they are not catastrophes. A catastrophe is the AIDS epidemic in Africa or a hurricane that wipes out a city. What most of us experience when things go wrong at work is frustrating, inconvenient and disappointing, but it is not disastrous. We must place things in proper perspective. Don’t become a drama queen or king. Don’t make mountains out of molehills or worry about things that have not yet happened (and may not ever happen). This only prevents us from living in the moment, recognizing and taking full advantage of what is positive in the work environment.

Whom we associate with: If we spend all of our time with someone who is negative and angry, it is very possible that the person’s unhappiness will begin to affect our own attitude. Misery like company, and negativity is very contagious. The disgruntled co-worker expects that we join him in his griping and dumping. And if we are too satisfied with our job, there is something wrong with us: We are naïve. We are in denial. We are apple polishers if we get along too well with management. All of us are judged by the company we keep. Our associations are a reflection of our values. Choose wisely.

Our expectations: One definition of conflict is “expectation not met.” Therefore, when we are experiencing job-related frustrations, we must examine our expectations. Are they reasonable?


-Michael Henry Cohen. (2008). The Power of Self Management. pp54-56.