Have to catch up on my DVR

It's been awhile since my last post. After my epiphany 10 days ago, life seems a lot easier.

In the last 10 days I've:

• Made some new friends.
• Constantly made reference to the "everything's amazing but nobody's happy" skit I stole from Ramsey's facebook. "You're in a seat... in the sky!"
  
• Celebrated Melissa's birthday.
• Practically forced my friends to leave a karaoke bar because my eyes balls were getting burned out of their sockets from too much smoke.
• Caught up with some old friends.
• Thought about stealing a boat with Ryan.
  
• Solidified the belief that the field I've chosen to go in to is something I would really enjoy, even if it may take a few years or so to get to the place I want to be.
• Fell in love with up north Michigan all over again.
• Hung out with my aunt Merry and uncle Gary.
• Had my final snowboard of the season in 40 degree weather wearing leggings and my winter coat's liner.
• Rocked out hard core in a vehicle three times with three different groups of people.
• Felt totally embarrassed that I wanted to run away and hide.
  
• Went to the casino.
• Laughed so hard I wanted to cry, multiple times.
• Played with Katie's recording equipment.
• Had hours of good conversation with Kim at our (sometimes pointless) internship.
• Finished Kafka's The Trial, which turned out much better than I thought it was going to.
  
• Had an interview at a flower shop.
• Got my motorcycle insured and received a quote for new tires.
  
• Went out for St. Patrick's day on a Tuesday when I originally had decided to stay home.
• Drank green beer for the first time.
• Was in one of my best moods of the year with the help of 70 degree weather, flip-flops, beer on the patio of Shores Inn, great people, and the best steak dinner ever.

Lately I've been adding classic literature to my reading list. Hence the Kafka reference above. Through most of the books I've read of his, I would always think, "I bet Kafka is laughing at everyone who reads his work and thinks he's so profound, because I'm pretty sure he thought it was just one big ironic joke; he's saying, 'Ha I fooled those suckers!'" And maybe he's laughing at me now, because I ended up really enjoying it in the end.


On another note, I feel like I've been really coming in to single-hood. I think it takes awhile to adjust to it sometimes. Before my last break up, I hadn't been single for more than a month in about 2 1/2 years, and I think I'm just starting to truly accept that it has potential for a whole lot of fun!

I feel like I'm right at the beginning of a huge transition. I have been a student my whole life and now I'm about to step into the real world, without the help of student loans and my parents (for the most part). Add that to the economy taking a turn for the worst and I'm realizing that it's going to be a struggle at times to make ends meet, I know it.

I tie this directly to my happy decision to be single. I have no idea what is coming around the bend for me, and to be tied up in a relationship seems like it would be even harder. Now don't get me wrong, I have no opposition to hanging out with people and possibly dating, but a full on relationship sounds like the worst idea in the world.

Even though, in the back of my head, I know if something really great came around, I wouldn't hold myself back from it. I would probably fall in head first like I always do. But as that's currently not the case, I am very happy with the way things are now.



And to finish 'er off...

Lately I have been grateful for:

• People who are able to honestly laugh at their faults... or their less than perfect actions. I'm starting to really understand the importance of that in my own life.
  
• People who help others just because they like to.
• My mom, who always seems to persevere through anything life throws at her. I really look up to her.
  
• My aunt and uncle, who opened up their home for my friends and I, told us great stories, and above all, always makes me feel loved.
  

frustrating

I can only assume that people who demand absolute perfection in others can only be more let down by their own imperfections. At least I hope because no one should always feel like they have to live up to other people's unattainable standards of perfection.


I find it ironic that I'm about to finish my Master's degree. I have a list of goals for my life that run through my head daily; what I want to do and who I want to become, 95% of which have nothing to do with my career goals. Part of me is saying that this Master's degree means that I need to buckle down and focus on finding the perfect job, while the other part of me is saying that the perfect job for me right now has nothing to do with being serious and grown-up.


Right now I'm grateful that:

• I have great friends and family that will put up with/support me during this difficult time.
• I know myself well enough to know that I won't enjoy certain jobs/locations even if they pay me more than others.
• Someone will hire me this summer to do SOMETHING, even if it has nothing to do with my degree.
• I know a lot of smart and hard-working people who are having troubles finding jobs after college as well.

Old Saying?

I'm grateful that:

• I've learned to accept certain situations I can't change. A few years ago, friends who constantly stood me up and constantly made me upset still remained my best friends. I was ditched for significant others. I was put down and pulled around. I confided in people who didn't see the significance.. or had ulterior motives. It's sad, but I've learned to let those people go. They won't change and our situation won't change, and I'm proud of myself for being okay with moving on.
• I'm less afraid of conflict. Some how I've become more comfortable with conflict and confrontations. I'm more apt to being blunt and telling it how it is. I like the openness, and appreciate it when others are the same with me.

Maybe it's all a part of growing up?

Happy Birthday K Tap

All I can ask for is forgiveness over the lateness of this blog. Katie's birthday was 3 days ago! However, New Years day was spent sleeping until four and then hanging out at Katie's birthday celebration until Midnight. As for the other two days, I have no excuse.

Happy belated 24th Birthday Katie!

It seems silly to introduce Katie like I have with every one else. If you read my blog and you don't know that Katie Tapper is my oldest friend, then you probably don't know me very well.


A few reasons why I'm grateful for you Katie:

• You call me out and keep me real. There are only a handful of people who will put me in my place when I need it. I can always count on you to say, "Merry, are you kidding me? Make it better!" when I do something wrong. I appreciate that more than you'll ever know.
  
• You're full of life. I know a lot of the time you don't feel this way, but you're wrong. Your presence lights up a room, and creates energy for people that they didn't have before, especially me.
  
• You're one of the strongest people I know. Again, I know a lot of time you don't feel like this because you see others skating through life while you're not. However, if those people had to deal with the challenges you deal with every day, they wouldn't hold up quite as well. It's inspiring to think about during my own challenges.
  
• You make it comfortable for people to be who they are. I know all your closest friends will agree with me. Sometimes it's hard to be real, but you never give anyone any reason to feel uncomfortable in their own skin. You never judge your friends, and you're always there to listen.
• You have a huge heart. You make the relationships in your life numero uno. You put your whole heart into you family and friends. Some people don't get how important that is, but you seemed to figure it out quite early.

I could go on and on about why I'm grateful for Katie, and why I love you so much, but I wanted to take a different twist on your birthday blog.


Some of my favorite memories of you Katie, age 23 (I will not get into specifics because it would turn into a novel):

• Automatic Love Letter @ the Magic Stick in Detroit.
• The one and only Katie Tapper show in Hastings.
• Countless movie nights where we would battle over the genre and would end up watching some suspense thriller.
  
• South Haven week, August. Especially sitting out by the fire until 3am.
• Tegan and Sara Chicago weekend!! Best. concert. ever.
• Starting to play music together again... still haven't figured out a name (maybe in 2009?)
  
• Halloween weekend adventures, including Windsor, casino, and Uh Huh Her.
• Skiing at Holly and Timber Ridge, being there while you snowboarded.
  
• This entire winter break which included a lot of music, movies, talks, 90210, and sleepovers.
  

A few reasons why your 23rd year will make your 24th year better than the rest:

• You've grown up. You realized early on during 23 that it was time to stop treating your body like a freshman in college.
• You've stood up for yourself. You decided that you weren't going to let others walk all over your heart.
• You've accepted yourself a little more. It's tough to feel different, but I can tell you're starting to embrace it.
• You've made positive decisions about your lifestyle. Not many people can recognize what they don't like about their life and make strong efforts to change it.
• You're embracing what truly matters to you. You're family. You're friends. You're future. You're health.
• You've planned a cool future with a really cool chick (me). Hopefully our plans for this year work out and we have an awesome time.
  

Goodbye 2008

Today I'm grateful for:

• Tonka, who's been very cute lately. Last night we shared the same pillow on the couch.
• My mom, who makes me feel welcome at home every time I decide to pass through.
  
• Bluegrass, or any music you can dance silly to and get away with it.
• Honest conversation.
• Getting to see friends who I haven't seen in forever!
• The end of 2008. While some major awesome things happened in 2008, I'm looking forward to a new year.
• The annual "Chicago New Years Bash." I've attended this for the past... 4 years? This will be my 5th? Maybe more.

Leah Pogliano

Introduction: This next guest blogger is a new friend of mine. She's the wonderful girlfriend of one of my best friends. She's bright, witty, cheerful and one of my favorite writers. I'm still hoping for the day that she will write her own book in which I will purchase for everyone I know. While I haven't been so fortunate with a lot of my friends' girlfriends, Leah treats me as a friend, and I'm grateful that she's let me into her life.

INTRODUCING
GUEST BLOGGER
LEAH POGLIANO

Things that make my life pizazzy, in no particular order:

• My job: Even though it's a pain in the ass, a lot of people I know are unemployed or soon will be.
• My gym membership: AND that work is footing the bill for a very small (I mean minuscule) portion of it.
• Dan Peat: Anyone that knows Dan knows why I'm lucky. If you don't know Dan, I'll tell you why you should. He makes you feel like you're the only person in the room, no matter who you are to him--girlfriend, friends, family, etc...
• My Family: We call ourselves the bad luck family because if anything can go wrong for any one of our members, it will. When this happens, the whole family rallies around and it doesn't seem as bad as you first thought.
• My non-addictive personality: I know so many people who are addicted to things...mainly online shopping and cigarettes. I find neither of these things thrilling, and I'm extremely grateful for that!

UDM I/O 09

This little bit of gratitude goes out to my graduate school cohort.

I love my group because:

• Most of them were my first new friends in Detroit.
• We are an exceptionally tight graduate group compared to some programs.
  
• They are the only people I don't have to explain what I/O Psychology is.
• They are accepting and knowledgeable of why I'm disappointed with our program.
• Along with that sentiment, they are by far the best perk of my program.
  
• They are accepting and supportive of my schemes.
• We work as a team better than any team I've ever worked with. While I'm sure a lot of times we are held back by "group think" and "social loafing," I think these people are some of the brightest, funnest, most interesting people in the world.
• A few of them always respond to my daily e-mails, and seem happy to show up for my group events.
  
• Some of them have become truly great friends. I couldn't ask for anything more.
  

Katie Tapper

As a note**** Katie told me I could not edit or refuse to post this. It was never my intention to get obscene amounts of gratitude placed towards me, but I will not refuse the offer! Katie Tapper has been my longest, most cherished friend. I've known her since before my brain could fully make memories, and have traveled on this journey called life with her ever since. Not many people are lucky as me to know the truth depths of Katie, but I know I'm very lucky to have her as part of my life every day.

INTRODUCING
GUEST BLOGGER
KATIE TAPPER

Dear Merry,

As long as i can remember myself i can remember you. I consider our friendship to be unlike all others. I have always held you up to high standards and looked up to you in so many different ways. Today i wanted to let you know that i am truly grateful for you!

I'm grateful to have a friend...

• That inspires me to be a better person
• Who has always had my best interest in mind when helping me make a decision
• That is always there to listen
• Who has put my insecurities in front of her own
• That has seen my highest highs and lowest lows and does not judge me for any of it

Merry, once again you have caught me off guard. Thanks for inspiring me to be a little more grateful everyday.

People are nice

I've received a lot of nice feedback from people on my new blog. Thank you everyone who has sent me a message or given me a call. It has made me feel very special.

On another note, I've been asked if others can post gratitude lists to my blog. Well, of course,I think this is a great idea! If anyone would like me to post a list, paragraph, letter, etc on what makes you grateful, lucky, or special, I would love to post it. I will post as many as you send me! Just email them to me at merryroberts@gmail.com . Our first guest poster will be Katie Tapper, so keep an eye out for her list.

For the most of the day I've been sitting around my house feeling like my throat has closed in and my head is spinning. When I was in the kitchen making my soup that I hardly had the appetite to eat, I laughed when I thought "I can't even be grateful for my health today!."


Things that have made me happy lately:

• The United States of America. While undoubtedly about 45.7% of you will not agree, our recent election of Barack Obama has left me feeling more happy about our values as a nation than ever before.
• Myself. I know I haven't made all the right decisions, and that I've been puttering around for the past 3 months depressed about the economy, but overall, I'm happy with how I've turned out. Thanks friends and family!
• Enduring Friendships. Katie put me on her "to call every night" list; I've seen Ramsey at least 3 separate weekends since she's moved to Chicago; I've had time to catch up with Rybot, Franny, EP, Danno, Dom the bomb, Carebear and the rest of my high school friends that still mean the world to me; and I've strengthened relationships with others that I hope will become enduring.
• Traveling. In the past year I've taken many cool trips with lots of cool people. Each trip has opened my eyes to something new and has allowed me to get to know my friends a little better.
• My car. After Ryan fixed my car for the eight-millionth time, it's finally to a point where there is nothing noticeably wrong with it. What a great feeling!
  

Again, if anyone is interested in posting their own list on this blog, send it to merryroberts@gmail.com .

Lost in the middle of a head cold

Today I'm grateful for:

• People who befriend the new girl in town, because without them I would've been very alone all these years.
• My brain, which makes school easy for me to get good grades in.
• Pets, and their unusual personalities.
• My hometown friends, who call or IM me for no reason at all. This makes me feel really special.
• People who bring me food; enough said really.

I had a really good conversation with someone yesterday about "living in the moment." It's amazing how much time I spend looking forward to the future without paying attention to the present. Well, I'm determined to be through with it... for the most part (who doesn't like looking forward to the future? Winter Park, baby!) I just have to remember: There's nothing so certain as the here and now.

A New Beginning

Today I'm grateful for:

• Tonka, who lets me be the "daddy spoon" when I'm feeling down.
• Friends, who still want to be a part of my life even though I've hurt them.
• Fresh snow, that makes snowboarding live up to its potential.
• Good conversation, with someone you really respect.
• Mexican food, because I love it!
• Muscles, that will repair even though the next couple of days will be hell.
• The Internet, which not only gives me endless hours of entertainment and insight, but is the source of this new blog.