When we were in high school, Ramsey and I gave Danno the nickname bottle, because he was a bottler. He used to bottle up his feelings and not let them out to anyone. Someone told me I was a bottler today, and I wouldn't have believed him if it weren't for the fact that I broke down and cried a few times from everything that has been building up. Crying felt good. Life sucks sometimes. I think I might cry more.
I don't know what's going to come of my life. I don't know what I'm going to be doing in a couple months to support myself. I don't know how to make all these negative feelings about my Master's degree stop from haunting my every thought. I. just. don't. know.
Today I'm grateful for my little trifecta I've created around myself since my breakup with Dan. I'm grateful for:
- Melissa who, for which I'm very lucky, has always been there for me when I'm going through a rough time. She listens to me rant and she understands when I'm being crazy. More importantly, she's always been a great friend to hang out with just when I need to be around someone who cares.
- Andrea who always tells me how it is but always reminds me to stay positive and focused. She also listens to me rant and always offers the best advice. She's someone I'm always comfortable talking about anything with and she's always a great friend to be around.
- Brian who calls me out, all the time. He knows me better than most and has this amazing ability to call me out when I'm being weird, awkward, sad, mad, excited, and so on. However, I'm always grateful for people who call me out. And add that to his incredibly fun nature and down for anything mentality, he's been a really great friend during this really hard time.
Sorry Brian, you're probably taking this picture.Thanks guys. I hope you know how much your friendship means to me.
3 comments:
You know that dane cook skit when he talks about how you feel like crying at work for no reason... and then you go home and boohoo for hours, its funny that you mentioned crying... I literally left the gym yesterday and barely made to my house before the vast sea of tears started. It went from one thing to the next, and it felt great, and I do feel the need for more. I am unhappy with our masters program as well...I have been contemplating going back to school for another one in some field completely not related. There's too much paperwork in psychology and i've decided I hate it. I should have just went with the whim to be an art teacher since day one, I don't know how I ended here. Don't worry Merry, things work themselves out, and it's great that you have a good support group of friends, they can always help lead us through anything when the world has taken a giant shit on our life plans :-).
Nobody likes me maybe if i cry... is what i was singing in my head while reading your blog.
How do I make this friend feed for friends I'm actually interested in? It would save me so much internet stalking time!
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