Resurrected

I'm back. I've been meaning to update my blog, but never feel like I have anything interesting to say. So I guess I'll just update you a little on what's going on.

This summer has been alright. I was laid off from my temporary position at the end of June and have been unemployed ever since. The little bit of extra money and the enormous amount of time off left me with a lot of free time to do fun things like:

• Attend three weddings. One in Maryland, on in Paw Paw, and of course, Erin and Jason's in Kalamazoo.
• Visit home and my home friends.
• Spend the only two nice weeks of summer on Lake Saint Clair.
  
• Go to Lollapalozza, which is next weekend.
  
• Watch a ridiculous amount of tv shows on DVD.
• Organize and de-clutter my life.
• Enjoy cheap events that happen only on weekdays (i.e. tiger's games, boomba, free bowling, golf)
• Hang out with my friends here who I may only have a little more time to see on a regular basis.
  

However, more of my free time was spent stressing out about the future and being depressed with the current economy. So much so that I've completely moved on from freaking about affording my student loans, and now I am freaking out about how I'm going to afford to live.

I feel incredibly conflicted. Part of my feels depressed because I have no real direction and I feel stagnant in my current situation. A couple days ago I relieved myself from this feeling by saying that if I have no job prospect by the end of August, then I'm packing my car full of stuff and driving out to Colorado to live with Jess while I try to find a job (doing anything!) out there. Luckily, Jess is one of the nicest people in the world and actually seemed excited about this idea.

However, at the same time, thinking about leaving Detroit, and Michigan all together, is scary and makes me sad. Michigan is my home. It is one of my great loves. The thought of leaving my friends and my family for an undetermined amount of time makes me feel sad and childish. They are the only things tying me here, and really the only reason I decided to stay in Detroit for the summer. I really care about these people. I'm comfortable here. Do I really want to leave my comfort zone when I'm this down about life?

But at the same time, it almost seems necessary to leave. Metro Detroit is depressing. Trying to find a job serving food out here has even failed me. I could move home with my mom to "save money", but really that would only be useful if I could find a job around there too. I love the Kalamazoo area and I wouldn't hate living there in the Fall.

See? Conflict.
I don't really know what I'm going to do for sure. All that is certain is that I'm moving out of Detroit before September 1st. After that? We'll see...